Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
I have a heart-on for you.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
You’re my heartthrob.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.