My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.