What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.