Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.