What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.