What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."