Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.