How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)