How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?