Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.