What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.