An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.