Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.