How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate