Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."