The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.