What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?