What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.