What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.