What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.