Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?