I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."