How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.