What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
I can't stand people who don't wash their hands.
They make me sick.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
I find bone puns very
Humerus.