When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
Started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Wrist”
I’m hooked.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What is a skeletons favorite meal?
Anything with Ribs.
My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head
I said "Well that's mature."
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
"Bugs and hisses."
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.