It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!