A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What do you call it when a skeleton is having a great time?
An osteoblast.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?
A rib cage match.
I’m directing a play about a boy who broke his arm.
You should see the cast.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.