What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.
A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.
What did one stranger say to the other? Nothing. They didn’t know each other.
What’s orange and tastes like an orange? An orange.
What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.
Why couldn't the dragon be a fireman?
Because dragons aren't real.
What leaves a bigger hole in your heart than breaking up with your girlfriend?
A bullet.
If Arnold has $5 and you have $5, you both have $5.
Parenting is like playing chess.
I don't know how to play chess.