It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.