It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.