It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.