If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Chuck Norris fell into a black hole.
The black hole couldn't escape.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.