Winter

What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "Nice going. The computer is completely screwed now."
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
What's the article of winter clothing most appropriate for Valentine's Day?
's mitten.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Its easier than walking!
What do lawn ornaments do over winter break? Go gnome for the holidays.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.