Turtle

Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
An Elephant Never Forgets
An Elephant Never Forgets An elephant was drinking out of the river one day when he spotted a turtle lying fast asleep on a log. The elephant walked over and kicked the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river. A passing giraffe who happened to see this happen asked the elephant, "Why did you do that?" The elephant replied, "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that bit my trunk 38 years ago." The giraffe said, "Wow, what a memory you've got!" "Yes," said the elephant, proudly. "Turtle recall."