Turtle

I once fell in love with a blonde,
But found that she wasn't so fond.
Of my pet turtle named Odle,
whom I'd taught how to Yodel,
So she dumped him outside in the pond.
A man goes to a costume party with nothing but a naked woman on his back.
"What are you supposed to be, then?" The host asks.
"I'm a turtle" said the man.
"How can you be a turtle when all you've got is that naked woman on your back?" Replies the host.
"Oh her?" He smiles. "That's just Michelle."
An Elephant Never Forgets
An Elephant Never Forgets An elephant was drinking out of the river one day when he spotted a turtle lying fast asleep on a log. The elephant walked over and kicked the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river. A passing giraffe who happened to see this happen asked the elephant, "Why did you do that?" The elephant replied, "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that bit my trunk 38 years ago." The giraffe said, "Wow, what a memory you've got!" "Yes," said the elephant, proudly. "Turtle recall."
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
I went to the costume party as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?