Turtle

An Elephant Never Forgets
An Elephant Never Forgets An elephant was drinking out of the river one day when he spotted a turtle lying fast asleep on a log. The elephant walked over and kicked the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river. A passing giraffe who happened to see this happen asked the elephant, "Why did you do that?" The elephant replied, "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that bit my trunk 38 years ago." The giraffe said, "Wow, what a memory you've got!" "Yes," said the elephant, proudly. "Turtle recall."
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.