Trash Jokes

I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
You look like trash, may I take you out?
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
The Special Animal Program
The Special Animal Program A young cowboy from Montana goes off to college. Halfway through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money, he begins thinking about his dire situation. He hatches a plan. He calls home. "Dad," he says to his father, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in University that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!" "That's amazing!" his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?" "Just send him down here with $1,000," the son says "and I'll get him in the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this, they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!" Read!?" says his father, taken aback. "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. But the young lad has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he ponders his problem, again and again, he comes up with a plan. He finds the dog a new home and gives him away to a loving family. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to talk to him!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was in the living room, kicking back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, as he usually does. Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?'" The father went white, then red, then exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying dog before he talks that trash to your Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!"
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
“Nurse: handing me a newborn You got this? Me: Sometimes I have to dig through the trash to re-read the instructions for mac ‘n’ cheese” – @mommy_cusses
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.”—Joyce Brothers
Yo Momma so poor I saw her banging on a trash can and when I asked her what she was doing, she said her kids locked her out.
What's the difference between a redneck and poor white trash? a redneck will knock his sister up; poor white trash will marry her.
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