Jokes > Tags > Ton

Ton

I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
I own a big fat cat-
The fattest for miles around.
Wherever there's lots of food,
That's where he'll be found.

He's really good at eating.
It's a talent, I suppose.
I'm sure if he keeps at it
He'd win the talent shows.

I own a big fat cat-
He weighs at least a ton.
He couldn't run to save his life.
Yes, he isn't much fun.

His favourite room's the kitchen.
(I'm sure we all know why.)
He eats just about everything,
So that's why, with a sigh...

I'd like to tell you, Teacher,
I'd like to tell you straight,
I might have "accidentally" dropped
My homework in his plate.

(By Christian M. Mitewu)
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
I ordered won ton for my large family today.
2000 lbs of soup goes a long way.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Neither, they both weigh a ton!
Why is your foot more special than your other body parts? Because they have their own soul. What is heavy forward but not backward? Ton.
Two kids are camping in their backyard, it's gotten pretty late and neither of them has a watch.
"What time do you think it is?" one of them asks the other.
"Just make a ton of noise," says the other.
The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyway. After a few seconds of screaming, a light turns on in another yard and a neighbor yells, "YOU CRAZY KIDS IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!!"
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas
The police verdict? Hummuscide.
What is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
The feathers.

Because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy