Tiny Jokes

Tiny Chihuahua,
Humongous Great Dane.
The difference between them
Is really quite plain.
Feisty Chihuahua
Will yap-yap and yip.
If he doesn't like you,
You may get a nip!
Gentle Great Dane
Has a powerful bite,
But never would nip you.
She's much too polite.
Great Dane finds the carpet
A fine place to nap.
Chihuahua loves curling
Right up in your lap.
Their owners would have
Some cause for dismay
If each dog behaved
In the opposite way!

(Kristin Frederick)
Wife is frying a lot of mushrooms in a tiny pan.
Me: Doesn't look like you have mushroom left in there.
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in a frying pan?
Take away its tiny brooms
Shaun was playing beach soccer when a couple of tourists made fun of his tall height. I replied, "Can you repeat that again? I couldn't see you behind this tiny grain of sand".
“While I was in the doctor’s waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. I suppose he just had to be a little patient.”
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
"I live in a mad house run by a tiny army that I made myself." — Anonymous
My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment.
It’s a little flat.
What do you call someone who only eats tiny bits of other people?
A cannibble.
It’s your birthday, there is no cure,
Cakes and candles, you must endure,
Quick and painless, let me assure,
A tiny chance, you will be mature,
With this crowd, usually secure,
Random fun, with results obscure,
Liquids we drink, definitely pure,
Goofy friends, minds we tour,
Hilarious birthday, that’s for sure.

(Martin Dejnicki)
I saved a tiny baby crow and now he won't leave, I guess you could say he's mi-cro.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
I was serving my friend a roast in my tiny shoebox apartment. He boasted that he could cook the same dish in a mere two hours...
But I cooked it in a minute flat.
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
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