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Funny Birthday Poems
I look at you and all the facts
I can't believe your age and how you act.
The number might suggest your old
That you should be shriveled and full of mold.

But, hey look at you
You're young in all you do
The number doesn't mean a thing
As long as you can still sing.

So may this little rhyme and verse
Be one that you don't curse.
Smile and be happy today
Remember, it's your birthday!

(Catherine Pulsifer)
Garden Quotes
"Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one."
- Dave Barry
Food Quotes
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
Jokes For Women
The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.
Hummus Puns
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:

"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."

He was not impressed.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” —Anne Bancroft
Phone Puns
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Crow Puns
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
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