Robot

How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
The Lie-Detecting Robot
The Lie-Detecting Robot A man bought a lie detector robot. Every time the robot detects a lie, it slaps the liar. He decided to test it at dinner on his son, who he suspected of often lying to him. DAD: Son where were you today during school hours? SON: "At school." (Robot slaps son) "Ouch! Okay okay, I went to the movies!" DAD: "Which one?" SON: Harry Potter (Robot slaps son again). "Ow! Okay, jeez - I was watching an adult movie, okay?" DAD: "What?? When I was your age I didn’t even know those existed!" (Robot slaps Dad) MOM: "Hahaha! He's your son, after all!" Robot slaps the mother.
Why was the robot mad? People kept pushing its buttons.
If I was a robot and you were one 2 if I lost a nut would you give me a screw.
What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
What does a robot do after s*x?
Nuts and bolts.