Rise Jokes

“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Your sun salutation would get me to rise every morning.
Is your name chocolate, because you make my seratonin levels rise and give me a sense of pleasure.
Let's play a game called TV, I turn your knobs and you watch my antennae rise.
Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.
For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.

Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases stealing each other's methods, committing plague-iarism.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
“Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and fertilize!”
— Anonymous
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
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