Received Jokes

I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
I received an award at work for being the most secretive employee.
I can’t tell you how much this means to me.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
If I had a nickel for every time I received a nickel, I would have an infinite amount of nickels.
A woman inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted."
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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