IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT. IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
What does marriage do? Puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth. . Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,
“Nobody puts baby in a coroner.”
Why is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
What kind of institution is Marriage? One where a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
A blonde goes to a soda machine. She puts in a dollar and gets a soda. She does this again and again. A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long. She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
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