My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
King Hero of old Syracuse had doubts that made him frown.
"Perhaps my goldsmith did not use pure gold to make the crown."
Since proof of mischief must be strong to put a thief in collar,
The king who feared his judgment wrong called on his science scholar.
"Archimedes, friend of old, find me the solution!
Is my crown pure solid gold, or is that an illusion?"
The scholar's task was serious; he struggled hard with math.
His mind was near delirious until he poured his bath.
He noticed how the water pushed him up as he stepped in.
He thought about it harder as he stroked his bearded chin.
"The weight of displaced liquid should always let me know
When any golden solid has a density too low!"
"Eureka!", he resounded. "I have such a clever mind".
Yet his claim was unfounded 'cause he left his clothes behind!

(by Robert Z)
Swimming Across the Tank
Swimming Across the Tank There was a party that many rich people attended. The host had recently built a tank with many alligators, piranhas, and many other lethal creatures. The host said that if anyone could swim across the tank, he would, to the best of his ability, grant them three wishes. Nobody was up to the challenge, so everyone just started having a good time and partying. Suddenly, there was a big splash. The host looked and saw a man swimming for his life across the tank. Thankfully, he made it across in one piece. The host walked over to the man and said, "Alright - you made it! WOW! What are your three wishes?" The man replied: "First, you see that shotgun of yours? Give it to me. Second, see those bullets over there? Give them to me too. Third, show me the jerk that pushed me in."
My doctor didn’t show up to the appointment about my hairline.
He said it got pushed back
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.