Piano Jokes

You can call me the piano man, because you'll love the way I tickle your keys
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
The Amazing Animal Musical Show
The Amazing Animal Musical Show A man walked into a bar. He sat down and asked the bartender "If I impress you, can I have a free drink?" The bartender said sure, so the man reached in his pocket and pulled out a tiny piano. He then pulled out a small rat and set it by the piano. It crawled on to the bench and began playing music. The bartender was amazed, so he gave the man a beer. Next, the man said, "If I impress you even more, can I have free drinks for life?" The bartender didn't think it was possible, so he agreed. The man pulled a frog out of his pocket, and it began to sing by the piano.  The bartender smiled and told the man that he was impressed. A man in a suit with a cane walked into the bar, saw the small animals, and offered to buy them for $2 million. The owner said no, but he offered to sell the frog for $500k. The rich man agreed, took the frog, and left. The bartender couldn't believe the owner just did that and said "Why did you just sell the frog?! There is no singer now!" The owner laughed and said, "Don't worry, the rat is a ventriloquist."
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
The Best Gunfighter Alive
The Best Gunfighter Alive This young Cowboy in the Old West wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. The young Cowboy walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old man looked him up and down and said, "I have a suggestion that is sure to help." "Tell me, tell me!" said the young Cowboy. "Tie the bottom of your holster lower onto your leg." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "Definitely." said the old man. The young Cowboy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "Wow, that really helped. Do you have any more suggestions?" "Yeah, if you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits, the gun will come out smoother." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "It sure will." said the old man. The young Cowboy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot a cufflink off the piano player. "This is really helping me. Is there anything else you can share with me?" "One more thing," said the old man. "get that can of axle grease over there in the corner and rub it all over your gun." The young Cowboy didn't hesitate but started putting the grease on the barrel of his gun. "No, the whole gun, handle and everything," said the old man. "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "No," said the old man, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing that piano he's going to shove that gun up your butt, so it won't hurt as much!"
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