Philosophy

What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.