Percent Jokes

“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.”
Bill Murray
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
70 percent of the human body is made up of water and im very thirsty.
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90 percent of their decisions.
Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
What do you call a man who’s lost 95 percent of his intelligence?
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