Onto Jokes

How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
Is it acceptable to take the epidermis from your butt and graft it onto a buddy?
Ass skin for a friend.
My cat kept jumping onto my desk.
I had to put him down.
My dad and I saw this girl with a colorful backpack covered in pot leaves
He turned to me and said "thats a dope backpack". He is catching onto my slang.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
I was upset that my mom had sewn patches onto her sweater.
Patches was a great cat.
I stubbed my toe onto a piece of furniture. C-ouch!
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