Jokes > Tags > Oh

Oh

Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Boyfriend: Just because you have your period doesn’t mean you can be so mean.
Girlfriend: Oh well just because you have a dick doesn’t mean you can be one.
There once was a girl named Sue.
She came down with the case of the flu.
She let out a sigh,
"My temperature is high,
what ever shall I do?
Oh my! Oh my!
I think I will die.
What ever shall I do?"

So, she stumbled out of bed.
"I know I'll take some meds.
If this the flu,
I take an aspirin or two.
Then I'll drink some broth and some juice.
Oh my! Oh my!"
she began to cry.
"I think this is acute."

So, she grumbled back to bed
and pulled the covers over her head.
She let out a sneeze,
a cough and a wheeze.
"Won't someone help me, please?
Oh my! Oh my!
Will I survive
the case of the crazy flu?"

So, she finally fell asleep.
She slept and slept for a week.
She tossed and turned,
her symptoms have passed.
Her temperature normal at last.
"Oh my! Oh my!
I think I survived
this case of the crazy flu."
When god gave out bodies, he did it in alphabetical order.
GOD: And to you, horse, I give you a golden mane, great strength and speed, and a giant gait. You will be the noblest of beasts, and men will love you.

HORSEFLY (next in line): Oh man this is gonna be gooood.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
What does the blanket say when it falls off the bed? Oh sheeeeet.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Recently I visited Germany. I hated everything in there. The people, the history, the language. But, oh god, the smell.
It was the wurst.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
I once had a gerbil named Bobby,
Who had an unusual hobby.
He chewed on a cord,
and now -- oh my lord,
now all that's left is a blobby.