Oh Jokes

No costume? Oh you lucky girl, you don’t need Halloween. You look like an angel every day.
Oh my beloved belly button.
The squidgy ring in my midriff mutton.
Your mystery is such tricky stuff:
Why are you so full of fluff?
(Richard Leavesley)
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater’s been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.
A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or—
Huh? You say it’s mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!
(Shel Silverstein)
For breakfast I had ice cream
With pickles sliced up in it;
For lunch, some greasy pork chops
Gobbled in a minute;
Dinner? Clams and orange pop,
And liverwurst, slicked thick---
And now, oops! Oh pardon me!
I'm going to be sick!

(William Cole)
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
It's been a hard day's night without your lovin', Oh darling.
Do you know which aisle the edible underwear is in? Oh, wait, wrong store!
Birthdays are sometimes hard to observe
Many people think they are for the birds.
Well, when I look at your age
I can see why you are at that stage.

Where did the years go
Another birthday, oh no
It only seemed like yesterday
We celebrated your birthday.

Oh who cares about age
Don't let it discourage
Be happy and just say
It is just another day!

(Catherine Pulsifer)
Is that the Helix Nebula I’m currently observing? Oh sorry! That’s your eyes.
Oh say can you see / by the dawn's early light / me in your bed / with last night's sweat still gleaming.
Careful of that Earl Grey, it’s super hot! Oh wait, you don’t need to worry. It’s not as hot as you.
There are 21 letters in the alphabet right? Oh wait, I forgot u, r, a, q, t.
If I had a nickel for every nickel I have... Oh wait, I do. Nevermind.
Hi. Do you remember me? Oh, that’s right—we’ve only met in my dreams.
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