Jokes > Tags > No

No

Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!
What did the man with no hands get for his christmas gift?
Gloves.

Just Joking. He still hasn't opened the gift.
Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back, and no we don't know Y.
A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors."
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
I've been searching for three years for my mother-in-law's killer... but apparently no one will do it.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Dad: I heard that you got punished for saying the F-word in class. That wasn’t fun, was it?
Son: No, it was F*ck.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Some say that puns aren't very funny, while others take them very seriously...
I guess the one thing we can all agree on is that puns are no joke.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.