Mention Jokes

Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons, protons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.
“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.”
— Clifton Fadiman
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.

After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.

After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies.

Did I mention he was suicidal?
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
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