Mark Jokes

“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid."
- Mark Twain
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“Cauliflower is a cabbage with a college education.”
— Mark Twain
"The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime if not asked to lend money."
— Mark Twain
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places."
— Mark Twain
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
If you were a sentence, I'd be the punctuation mark because I'd always follow you no matter what.
Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant
He's calling it Wok of Life.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy