Loves Jokes

Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass." - Mac MacGuff in Juno
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Tiny Chihuahua,
Humongous Great Dane.
The difference between them
Is really quite plain.
Feisty Chihuahua
Will yap-yap and yip.
If he doesn't like you,
You may get a nip!
Gentle Great Dane
Has a powerful bite,
But never would nip you.
She's much too polite.
Great Dane finds the carpet
A fine place to nap.
Chihuahua loves curling
Right up in your lap.
Their owners would have
Some cause for dismay
If each dog behaved
In the opposite way!

(Kristin Frederick)
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
I love you more than my mom loves Céline Dion.
I can love you more than a cowboy loves a fat calf.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
What is a vampire who loves eating strawberry jam called? A jampire.
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
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