Less Jokes

“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
Roses are red, violets are blue,
White wine costs less than a dinner for two.
I must stop eating Snickers
I can’t fit in my knickers
Have less food on my plate
Won’t moan about my weight

(Jan Allison)
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Baby, the Millennium Falcon isn't the only thing that does it in less than 12 parsecs.
Why do you get less caviar out of a fish with nieces and nephews?
Because it's in a fish aunt.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
A little less fight and a little more spark, close your mouth and open your heart.
A little less conversation, a little more action please.
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