Lay Jokes

Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
Call me smoke
Cause I can show you a great time and all you have to do is lay back, relax, and blow me.
Wanna play war? I'll lay on the ground and you blow the f*ck outta me.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
Girl, are you a train? Because I want to lay under you.
A centipede was happy quite,
Until a frog in fun
Said, “Pray, which leg comes after which?”
This raised her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in the ditch
Considering how to run.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Baby, are you a lane rope? Because I want to lay on you all day long.
As I lay cozy, all snug in my bed,
I enjoy the imagination inside my head
Until I hear racket beside my bed.
It's my 5:00 alarm!

I quickly silent you, you annoying alarm.
Then we SNOOZE together and let dreams carry on.
Enjoying the peace, then I'll be darned;
It's my 5:15 reminder!

Now I hush the ringing of my reminder.
Ok Alarm, let's put that behind us.
Eyes just shut, but here goes that timer
It's 7:20. I'm late!!!

(By Demecia Dean)
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
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