Hold

What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill will hold more than his belican,
He can take in his beak
Enough food for a week
But I'm damned if I see how the helican!
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What do zebras hold?
Ze boobs.
It is difficult to hold up a trouser. How does Jupiter does it? Simply, with an asteroid belt.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
A snake slithered into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink.
“I’m sorry,” said the bartender, “but I can’t serve you.”

“Why not?” asked the snake.
The bartender said, “Because you can’t hold your liquor.”