Here

What would you call a power failure? A current event.

My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”

A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
How does Robin Hood get from here to there?
In an “arrow plane.”
A bit late but here goes anyway: what do you call the elf who checks Santa's grammar?
A subordinate claus!
A patient came to the ER with a rash. I told her it was an allergic reaction and that I'd prescribe her steroid cream. She asked me if she'd be discharged soon.

She was really itching to get out of here.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Do you comma here often?
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"

She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"

I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
“How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.”
Emo Philips
"Reti or not, here I come!"
Is it solipsistic in here?
Or is it just me?
Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?