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Hearts Jokes

Arm Puns
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
Peach Puns
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
Marriage Puns
Why did the King of Hearts marry the Queen of Hearts?
They were perfectly suited to each other.
Elvis Pick Up Lines
Girl give me a chance and I will show you a world of our own where spell of love began and our hearts become one
Valentines Day Puns
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Onion Puns
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
Funny Money Quotes
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
Heart Puns
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
Corn Puns
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
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