Had Jokes

If I had Jack Sparrow's compass, it'd be pointing at you.
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
"I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt."
"Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse."
"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
You had me at cello.
I had to clean my filter twice after I saw how beautiful you are because I couldn’t believe my Arabicas.
Someone randomly dropped off a bull in my neighbor’s yard, but animal control picked it up before she got home.
She would have had a cow.
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"Whoever says friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!"
— Bronwyn Polson
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
You know, your smile has been lighting up the room all night, and I just had to come and say hello.
I just had to tell you. Your beauty made me truly appreciate being able to see.
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