A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."

Yeti/ Bigfoot Puns

What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!

Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.

Friendship Quotes

"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
— Erma Bombeck

Yard Puns

A woman gets into an accident while driving. She tries to explain to the officer that it wasn’t her fault. She says the other guy was drinking and on his phone! The officer looks at the lady and says, "Mam, he could do that in his own backyard.”

Two kids are camping in their backyard, it's gotten pretty late and neither of them has a watch.
"What time do you think it is?" one of them asks the other.
"Just make a ton of noise," says the other.
The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyway. After a few seconds of screaming, a light turns on in another yard and a neighbor yells, "YOU CRAZY KIDS IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!!"

Peach Puns

Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.

Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”

Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”

Garden Quotes

Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
— Author Unknown

"Even if the farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start."
- E.W. Howe

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