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Gets

Puns
A guy named Bart walks into a bar, he immediately gets shot and dies. Who killed him?
The Bartender.
Quotes
“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”
Robert Benchley
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
Winston Churchill
Chess Puns
I like playing chess with old people in the park, but it gets hard to find 32 of them each time.
One Liners and Short Jokes
My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally.
The police get mad at me because that’s apparently considered “kleptomania.”
Corona Virus Jokes
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
Blonde Jokes
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Brain Puns
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Worm Puns
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Spice Puns
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
Football Puns
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Fruit Puns
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?
A pear.
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