Gets Jokes

What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
— Erma Bombeck
A woman gets into an accident while driving. She tries to explain to the officer that it wasn’t her fault. She says the other guy was drinking and on his phone! The officer looks at the lady and says, "Mam, he could do that in his own backyard.”
Two kids are camping in their backyard, it's gotten pretty late and neither of them has a watch.
"What time do you think it is?" one of them asks the other.
"Just make a ton of noise," says the other.
The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyway. After a few seconds of screaming, a light turns on in another yard and a neighbor yells, "YOU CRAZY KIDS IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!!"
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
— Author Unknown
"Even if the farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start."
- E.W. Howe
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy