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Forward Jokes

Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
The lobster and the crab one day
Proposed a friendly race.
Agreed upon the time were they,
Agreed upon the place.
The start and finish lines were where
The two thought they should be.
The crayfish with a clock was there
To act as referee.
And though the rule-book then was read,
Not all was clarified;
For as the lobster forward sped
The crab went to the side.

(Jeffrey Krise)
Hockey Pick Up Lines
If I said I'd like to score on you tonight would you think I was being too forward?

The Little Girl and the Wittle Wabbit

The Little Girl and the Wittle Wabbit A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?" The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."
Tableware Puns
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.

I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
One Liners for Kids
What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? Hi Cliff! Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll.
Why is your foot more special than your other body parts? Because they have their own soul. What is heavy forward but not backward? Ton.
Shakespeare Insults
Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.
Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.
Halloween Puns
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
Funny Poems
The lobster and the crab one day
Proposed a friendly race.
Agreed upon the time were they,
Agreed upon the place.
The start and finish lines were where
The two thought they should be.
The crayfish with a clock was there
To act as referee.
And though the rule-book then was read,
Not all was clarified;
For as the lobster forward sped
The crab went to the side.
(Jeffrey Krise)
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