What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?
She fits into your wife’s clothes.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
There was a young lady from Brighton
Who had an incredibly tight 'un
"Heavens Above!
It fits like a glove"
"Oh! you ain't put it in the right 'un!"
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld