Eye Jokes

I met a man with a glass eye this morning...
He didn’t tell me, it just came out in the conversation
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
How to spell the potato has tried
Many minds, sometimes mine, I’ll confide.
Though it may have an eye,
There’s no E – don’t ask why!
Not until it’s been baked, boiled or fried.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
If I had a dollar for every time someone said not to look directly at the eclipse...
I'd have enough money to pay for the eye surgery I need.
Hey baby, you’ve captured my eye. Could I have it back?
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
“Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal.”

- Sir Winston Churchill.
I got tear-free soap in my eye.
It hurts like heck but at least I’m not crying.
Aunt: Aw, look at you. You've got your father's eyes
Dad: Son, where's my glass eye?
I think there’s something wrong with my eye. I can’t take them off of you.
You’re the pumpkin pie of my eye.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
Why did the model bring her lipstick and eye shadow to school?
Because she had a make-up exam!
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