What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
Two condoms are walking down the street...
They pass a gay bar and one condom says to the other "hey, do you wanna get shit-faced?"
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
Don't get tide down.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. "You mean martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, "Slow down there! I'll let you know when I want more."
Heisenberg was speeding down the highway. A cop pulls him over and says "Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg says, "No, but I knew where I was."
My friend’s bakery burned down last night.
Now his business is toast.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!