The Scotland football team went to visit an orphanage in Kazakhstan this morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible"
said Anatoly, aged 6.

Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme

here was a dog owner named Mark
Whose beagle would constantly bark
The neighbours would moan
They’d steal Benji’s bone
And toss it away in the park.

Funny Animal Quotes

“Giant pandas eat constantly, poop 40 times a day and don't have a lot of sex...I've never felt such a connection to an animal."
- Renee Hooray

Dirty Food Pick Up Lines

I like you like I like my coffee. Constantly inside me.

Quotes

“I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.”
Damien Fahey

Moon Puns

Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.

Computer Puns

Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.

Chrome wasn't built in a day.

History Puns

Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.

Movie Pick Up Lines

Is your name Rapunzel, cause I need a girl who never leaves the bedroom and constantly wants me to pull her hair?

Space Pick Up Lines

Hey, wanna come to my place and observe something else that's constantly expanding?

Monster Puns

The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.

Funny Tall People Insults & Comebacks

Shaun was constantly asked if he played basketball. He now answers back by saying, "Hey, do you play minigolf?"

Rick was constantly picked on by his friends for being a tall person. One day he just exploded and shouted, "I know I am so tall that it makes all you look like Lilliputs."

Brain Puns

How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.

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