Climb Jokes

My relatives said, "You are so tall you don't need a ladder to climb?" I just replied, "How does it feel to hear anything I say after 10 seconds?".
What if someone made fun of your height? Just reply, "Hey, grab a ladder, climb up it and speak to my face".
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
Do you climb? Because baby I can be your rock
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
If I were a furry bear.
And had a furry tummy.
I'd climb into a honey jar
And make my tummy yummy!
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”

- Erma Bombeck.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
“Now how, in the name of the spouting whale,” the indignant turtle cried,
“Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, I’d lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, he’d gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I can’t do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath.”
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
“The easiest way, my friend,” said he, “is to walk around the pole.”

(Amos Russel Wells)
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
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