Came

Just found two lumps on my car battery.
Got them tested, one came back positive. I hope it's not terminal.
After the doctor finished up with my prostrate exam the nurse came in and said three words I didn’t want to hear...
“Who was that?”
One day when I was young, I watched my father grilling burgers.
When they were done, he handed me one telling me it was a bison burger.

He than left, and never came back.
Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!
A patient came to the ER with a rash. I told her it was an allergic reaction and that I'd prescribe her steroid cream. She asked me if she'd be discharged soon.

She was really itching to get out of here.
During labor, the nurse came up to my wife and said, “How about epidural anesthesia?”
I said, “Thanks, but we already picked a name.”
“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
Rodney Dangerfield
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
“I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.”
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.