"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner

Orange Puns

Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.

We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.

Peach Puns

Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.

An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.

Halloween Pick Up Lines

I didn’t know that my favorite Halloween treat came in life size!

Easter Pick Up Lines

I came here looking for a little tail.

Gnome Puns

Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.

Utensils Puns

I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.

Nuts Puns

Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.

Ogre Puns

A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."

Tableware Puns

My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar.

I came home and found my wife naked, except for a porcelain mug on each breast.
She said she was a t-cup.

I met a man with a glass eye this morning...
He didn’t tell me, it just came out in the conversation

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