Came

A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
A patient came to the ER with a rash. I told her it was an allergic reaction and that I'd prescribe her steroid cream. She asked me if she'd be discharged soon.

She was really itching to get out of here.
During labor, the nurse came up to my wife and said, “How about epidural anesthesia?”
I said, “Thanks, but we already picked a name.”
Just found two lumps on my car battery.
Got them tested, one came back positive. I hope it's not terminal.
After the doctor finished up with my prostrate exam the nurse came in and said three words I didn’t want to hear...
“Who was that?”
“I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.”
“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
Rodney Dangerfield
One day when I was young, I watched my father grilling burgers.
When they were done, he handed me one telling me it was a bison burger.

He than left, and never came back.
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!