Bat Jokes

I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
“Three rebels against the light: the thief, the adulterer, and the bat.”

- Hebrew Proverb.
As Blind As A... Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood." "We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us." The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave. When he returns, he is covered in blood. The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?" The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?" "Yes," the other bat answers. "Well," says the first bat, glumly, "I didn't."
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
Erase erratic bat from your vocabulary because I am as functional as they come.
If you were a baseball and I was a bat would you let me hit?
I'd got to bat for you, babe.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
(Lewis Carroll)
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