Why did the bat fire a chauffeur? He drove everyone batty.
What do you call a bat with the flu? An airborne disease.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat? She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
Why did the bat look for a job? She was tired of hanging around.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined? Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball? A home run.
What bat was called an invader? Bat-talina.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks? More than a bat.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? Blood-thirsty hacker.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team? Quater-bat.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker? Bat-a-tat.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball? He was a bat boy.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock? She turned into a ding-bat.
As Blind As A...
Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."
"We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."
The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave.
When he returns, he is covered in blood.
The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"
The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave.
Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"
"Yes," the other bat answers.
"Well," says the first bat, glumly, "I didn't."