“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘D***, that was fun.'” — Groucho Marx
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton