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Themselves Jokes

Funny Money Quotes
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
Meat Puns
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Italy Puns
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
Zombie Puns
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
Pea Puns
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Irish Puns
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
Spain Puns
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
Hair Puns
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Band Puns
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
Flamingo Puns
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
Rainbow Puns
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.